In Pain but Grateful

Such an odd combination.

I have a been diagnosed with couple of ailments.  Hidradenitis suppurativa, Lyme disease & Costochondritis. They all suck individually, together they suck monkey balls.  The Hidradenitis causes boils and tunnels under your skin.  Lyme just attacks fucking everything and then Costochondritis makes you feel like you're having a heart attack.  Should probably add in the bulging discs in my neck as well as a recent discovery of a mild Chiari Malformation. 

Lovely, right?  

For the most part, I'm ok.  I can work & play and drive and be a single mom. I make dinner I clean the house (kids help) I garden, I spend time with my boyfriend, I do what needs to be done.  But every day there is either a headache or my ribs hurt or I'm walking funny because a new "alien" is trying to rear it's ugly self either in my bikini line (yeah like I'll ever wear a bikini) or under my arm and then it's goodbye tank tops. And every once in a while I just wake up exhausted and spend the day on the couch.  Thankfully I work from home and it's not an issue for work, but it is an issue for me.

I hide a lot.  Only if the pain is really bad do I say anything.  Otherwise it's pop a few ibuprofen and do what I need to do. I don't really have a choice. I have a life to live.

I really didn't start this post to whine, but more to just get it out.  It's my blog, right?  Some of the thoughts rattling around my skull about all of this focuses on my diet.  Why did I feel so great last summer to spend most of the fall and winter feeling miserable. 

Other than the addition of my amazing boyfriend, who did not cause any of this, the only other change was my diet.  I went back to eating carbs and sugar. 

Often I say I need to cut out the carbs to lose weight, but this isn't about losing weight.  This is about getting better.  I need to change my entire mindset.  I need to not give in, I need to be stronger in my resolve. 

So here is my game plan.  I need to treat carbs & sugar like I do mushrooms or wine.  I need to treat them like I'm allergic to them.  If you think about it, I am.  But instead of breaking out in hives or a rash, I break out in pain.  I'd like to stop causing myself pain.  

I rode my bike Monday for the first time since the fall. I did 2 miles. Last summer I was doing 14 to 15 miles a few times a week. I'd like to get back there. 

Happy Father's Day

It's a rainy day at the Jersey Shore as we celebrate Father's Day, but we will still celebrate the men in our lives who not only take part in creating lives, but those who help out once the kids are here!

Happy Father's Day to:

The Dads

The Step Dads

The Grandfathers

The Uncles

The Single Moms

and all of you who help out raising our children. 

Wednesday Morning at the Beach

Just some pictures from the beach today.  

I had some orders to fill and spent some time walking the beach. It felt amazing & really lifted my spirit!

I made some bracelets and an anklet.  

Check out my Facebook page if you're interested in one. 

Summer is here!

Well just about.

Things are going well.  Still with Tony, still blaming him for the weight gain.  LOL

But I seem to be over the hill getting over Lyme Disease.  I 'll know for sure in a few weeks when I go back for more blood work.

Life is changing for me.  I'm not doing online training anymore. I've moved to another part of the company where I'm monitoring sales calls. I like it because I get to work from home still but now i can set my hours, which is awesome. I still have my awesome business, which I'll get back to in a bit and last week I completed my training to become  real estate agent!  Just have to pass the state test on Friday.

I had my license years ago but it wasn't the right time for me.  Now I think it's going to be an awesome adventure and I'm looking forward to it.  What's really awesome about becoming an Agent with HG Realty is not only the owner/broker my friend, but it will afford me the flexibility I'll need being a single mom & doing the call monitoring!

Plus the flexibility to do my Beach Artistry too!

How about some pictures to catch you up. I did a very poorly attended show this weekend.  This is my 2nd show with this company and both were poorly attended.  At no point were there more shoppers than vendors.  But it gave me a chance to do a set up and see what work & what doesn't.  One thing that doesn't work right is my brand new tent.  I will be taking it back this week.

I finally have more space to work in the house so I'm be making some new stuff. Can not wait!

Also, I'll be doing a Sunday Market in Asbury Park called Asbury Fresh on 7/5.  I did them 2 years ago and liked it.  I'll also be doing an event in Lacey, NJ on August 1st.  Can't wait!

Check back for more details!