In Pain but Grateful

Such an odd combination.

I have a been diagnosed with couple of ailments.  Hidradenitis suppurativa, Lyme disease & Costochondritis. They all suck individually, together they suck monkey balls.  The Hidradenitis causes boils and tunnels under your skin.  Lyme just attacks fucking everything and then Costochondritis makes you feel like you're having a heart attack.  Should probably add in the bulging discs in my neck as well as a recent discovery of a mild Chiari Malformation. 

Lovely, right?  

For the most part, I'm ok.  I can work & play and drive and be a single mom. I make dinner I clean the house (kids help) I garden, I spend time with my boyfriend, I do what needs to be done.  But every day there is either a headache or my ribs hurt or I'm walking funny because a new "alien" is trying to rear it's ugly self either in my bikini line (yeah like I'll ever wear a bikini) or under my arm and then it's goodbye tank tops. And every once in a while I just wake up exhausted and spend the day on the couch.  Thankfully I work from home and it's not an issue for work, but it is an issue for me.

I hide a lot.  Only if the pain is really bad do I say anything.  Otherwise it's pop a few ibuprofen and do what I need to do. I don't really have a choice. I have a life to live.

I really didn't start this post to whine, but more to just get it out.  It's my blog, right?  Some of the thoughts rattling around my skull about all of this focuses on my diet.  Why did I feel so great last summer to spend most of the fall and winter feeling miserable. 

Other than the addition of my amazing boyfriend, who did not cause any of this, the only other change was my diet.  I went back to eating carbs and sugar. 

Often I say I need to cut out the carbs to lose weight, but this isn't about losing weight.  This is about getting better.  I need to change my entire mindset.  I need to not give in, I need to be stronger in my resolve. 

So here is my game plan.  I need to treat carbs & sugar like I do mushrooms or wine.  I need to treat them like I'm allergic to them.  If you think about it, I am.  But instead of breaking out in hives or a rash, I break out in pain.  I'd like to stop causing myself pain.  

I rode my bike Monday for the first time since the fall. I did 2 miles. Last summer I was doing 14 to 15 miles a few times a week. I'd like to get back there. 

Update on me

I know I've been whining a lot lately when it comes to talking about myself, and I apologize for that.  But I was in a lot of pain.  And the pain was hard to deal with because it was every day.  And I was gaining weight like a pregnant woman (no I'm not pregnant).

I've gained back 20 pounds of the 66 I lost.  First 10 or so when I quit smoking & was taking steroids for what docs thought was a chest muscle injury.  Then another 10 of holiday & feeding the pain pounds.

What is "feeding the pain?"  Very basically, it's being too miserable to care about what you're eating.  I spent a lot of time eating comfort foods.  Only they didn't comfort me and now I'm uncomfortable in my skin.

But I have a turned a corner!
I'm not in so much pain anymore!
I see the light!
My jeans don't look good anymore!
I have summer clothes I bought last summer that aren't going to fit if I don't get moving!

Time to stop feeding the pain!

I've been doing Low Carb, but I'm burnt out on it.  Low Carb is a GREAT way to lose weight.  But I just need to do something different to shake things up.  I'm not really active again yet, I'm slowly getting back to exercising, so I really need to shake up my way of eating.  

I honestly considered HCG, but the thought of 500 calories EVERY DAY and ingesting a hormone...  well it just doesn't sit well with me.  And I know it works.  I have a friend who had been struggling with losing weight for YEARS and was able to take it all off in just a few months doing HCG.  Also, you have to remember I have 2 kids, so I want to be a good role model for them where it comes to eating healthy.

In my latest research of looking for something different to do, I discovered JUDDD.  Yes it's supposed to have 3 D's.  

JUDDD stands for Johnson's Up Day Down Day.  It's also known as an Alternate Day diet.

In a nutshell, you do one day of 500 calories and the next day your normal amount of calories.  If you do a search on JUDDD you can find a calculator to figure out your calories.  My UD is around 2000. 

I wandered into a forum and asked "is it really that simple?  One day up & one day down?  And I got a RESOUNDING YES!

So I'm giving it a try.  

I started with an UD on Wednesday and Thursday was my first 500 calorie DD.  I won't say it was easy, but it wasn't OMG hard.  I bought some 100 calorie protein shakes & bars.  I have these Coco cakes (aka Cannon cakes) that are 16 calories each.  They're not great alone, but they did the trick yesterday.  

I'm not good about measuring food so I'm not 100% sure I stuck to 500 calories but I'm within 20ish.  I'm good with that. 


One of the things I am doing for exercise is walking the beach. I'm down there at least 3 times a week doing my Beach Writings and looking for Beach Glass. So I've been walking while I'm there. It's a good cardio & strength without the impact I have to be careful of.  


So that's the latest on me.  Oh wait I forgot something..


I was interviewed this week by a writer from the Asbury Park Press for a Sunday piece on my business.  :D  Not exactly sure when it's going to run, but once it does - well I can't imagine what life will be like then!


Happy St. Patrick's Day!