Open Letter to Snooki & Jionni

Dear Nicole & guy hanging around for the limelight,

Move.

Seriously, move to the midwest somewhere.

(ok before you catty bitches say "i thought you never watched tv" - I said Rarely.. and yes, I watch Jersey Shore. I friggen live there... have to watch)

Oh and change your names.

And change pretty much everything about you that leads back to these personas you've created.

You have a son now and every single thing needs to be about him.

Ok you can wait until after the "covered better then Prince William & Kate's" wedding fiasco - but then you need to be done.

What prompted this post.... 

I have sons, 2 of them.  They're 13 & 11 now.

And the mere thought of the torture this little baby Enzo is going to have to endure when his classmates find out he's Snooki's child..

It makes me feel like throwing up.

Can you imagine the abuse when he gets to like 5th grade?  "Hey Enzo, watched Jersey Shore last night & saw where you wrecked your mom" or something other gross thing that 10/11 yo boys say to each other (and no matter how you raise, them they can be gross - just hopefully never around their grandparents!)

I have to say I was happy to hear they were having a boy... because girls are MUCH worse... much, much, much worse (yes, I'm having a flashback to middle school - I was bullied and picked on a lot- you could not pay me to go back to middle school)

Whether you were picked on or the bully, think back to how a girl with a known "celebrity" mom like Snooki would have been tortured...

I shudder just thinking about it.

So my suggestion to Nicole & Jionni

Have your obnoxious wedding & Snooks, wear white if you want to....

Then over the next 3 or 4 years, pull out (insert joke here) of the spotlight

Change your style

Change your names

Pick a nice quiet town in the midwest somewhere and settle down.  Be real parents, attend your kids sporting events or dance recitals.  Don't draw attention to yourself by whining or hitting on ever dad there

and just fade into history. 

Because it's no longer all about you... it's about Enzo and he deserves a normal life.

Just like your parents did Nicole when they gave you up for adoption.  Your parents did what they thought was best for you, now you do the same.

I'm not saying give him up for adoption, I'm saying stop being selfish and thinking it's all about you. 

You've made your money and I'm sure there is enough rolling in that if invested wisely will support you very well for the rest of your lives.  So there is no reason to subject your child to anything more.

Have you see that Honey Boo boo show? Do you really want Enzo to end up like that?

Parenting is hard enough - you don't need to make it harder on yourselves or Enzo.

You can always come back to Jersey for a visit.  Hell it's not like you're actually from here anyway, so that doesn't change.

Speaking of parenting, I need to wrap this up here and get moving. So much to do on this last day before school starts! I'm just very glad that one of the things I'm not doing is readying my boys for the crap Enzo is going to have to deal with thanks to the way you 2 got "famous."