Thursday, May 15, 2014

Where is summer & divorce update

Ok it's going to be warm today, almost 70 but it's cloudy!!! This weather has been the PITS since winter started.

I have never had such a long period of time between beach trips to get my work done. Even right after Sandy I didn't have this much trouble getting my work done.


Enough complaining... what I'm doing in the mean time is focusing on me and my health.  Since February I've been eating low carb & riding my bike at least 5 days a week for 20 to 40 minutes.  Since then I've lost 18 lbs!!!!

Back in January I posted this

which has the link to my post from 2011 when I had hit 65 pounds lost and included before & after photos, go check it out.

So my goal is to get the rest of the weight off to get me back to where I was in 2011 before my back issues laid me out, that's only 15 more pounds.  I am focused and hope to be there before the end of the summer.  If I can get more off, awesome!!!  Realistically I am 44 and have been obese at several points in my life.  So unless I can afford plastic surgery to remove skin, I don't see myself ever being skinny.

My combination for weight loss that works this time is Low Carb, exercise and STRESS.  I think stress is the catalyst.

Imagine that, divorcing & living together is causing stress...

You see, even though we are getting divorced, we had planned on only separating (NJ doesn't have legal separation) so I could stay on his insurance he is now pushing to file for divorce.

He used to push me to stay in the house together so that we could keep things normal for the kids.  At first I liked the idea, but then I the thought of one more day of seeing his face was going to be too much, to accepting it was a good idea for the kids.

We get along just fine, so what was the point of breaking up the house and having to struggle to maintain 2 households.

I did a lot of reading on it and even met a woman who shared a house with her ex for 11 years!  I can't imagine 11 years, but I was just thinking 2 or 3 more.  Maybe at that point with our youngest being 16ish the older one in college or Air Force and that would lighten the load for finding a place to live until the younger one graduates.

And then the ex started dating.

Basically he became infatuated with the first woman that paid any attention to him through a dating site. I think she must have gone through a bad divorce because she is pushing him to do things that are not in his nature.

He is crazy about her and looks like he will do almost anything to be with her. He told me she's told him to date other people, and he is.  I also believe she has said she will not date him while he's still legally married and that is why he is pushing for filing.

I told him I would write him a note saying that I have no problem with his dating as long as he remembered to put his kids first.  So if you're her & you're reading this, he's all yours!  Just try to remember he has kids too.

So we went from friends, to dating, to married, to separated and now, with the way he's treating me, I can't see us being friends.

It makes me sad because he is the father of our children and I see how this putting more stress on them daily.
I have always been there for my kids and will continue to do so any way I can.  Especially at this time when he is not thinking with the head between his shoulders.

I am strong and will build a future that will lead to an amazing adult friendship with my awesome kids, where I never have to worry about what head the ex is thinking with again.

Ok, enough rambling. I need to get my butt on my bike.  Thanks for listening!

1 comment:

  1. Wow, your post couldn't have been timed better. I kicked my husband out a couple of months ago and just let him back in the house (basement) for financial reasons, too. I agreed to counseling but I'm having a really hard time getting past the fact that he was able to keep a suboxine addiction from me for 6 years. Trust, once broken, will never mend completely. Stay strong and keep up the good work!