Monday, August 13, 2012

Being the bad guy

Occasionally as parents we have to be the "bad guy"  and right now I'm IT.

And I'm not sorry for it.

I have to take a step back before I tell you why I'm IT.

I'm not a helicopter parent. I do not believe we have to wrap our children in bubble wrap and put tracking software on them.  I am a "don't bleed on the carpet" parent.

I love my kids, I would kill for my kids, but I believe I am not to be their friend, I am to make them into adults I would be proud to call my friend.

Right or wrong, who knows.. I always say you have to put a little away for them for college and a little away for therapy, because we all manage to screw them up one way or another.

So when my 11 year old son's friend called and asked if he could go to Great Adventure with them I said yes. JerseyShoreDad voiced some disagreement but he wasn't feeling well so I kinda blew him off and said sure.

Before they left I told the mom that he had never been on big roller coasters before but he wanted to try.  Going was the mom her twin 11 year olds a friend each (so 2 boys & 2 girls, all 11ish)

He get home around 7 and said he had a good time...

Except one of the roller coasters hurt his stomach and he didn't want to go on any other ones after that.  I was so proud of him for going on the rides. I'm too chicken!

Long story short, he eventually tells me that when they went on other rides he sat on a bench and waited.

by himself

in the middle of Great Adventure (aka Six Flags)

for over AN HOUR

Ok so I thought maybe it was just me. Maybe I am over protective.... I didn't address it at first but while I was out, JerseyShoreDad posted this on Facebook:

QOTD. You are at an amusement park with another person's child. After a few rides, this other child is not feeling up to going on any more rides. Do you continue to go on rides without the child (leaving them alone while you and the family continue to go on rides), or do you have someone stay with this child while others go on the rides.
 After reading some responses, I realized it's not just me.  Even my friend who is less strict then me expressed a WTF??

Now I could have called her and flipped out on her. I kind of wanted too... but I took the high road. I send her this message

Not really sure how to convey my feelings about u leaving my 11 yo sitting by himself at GA without losing my cool.  He will not be going anywhere with you again.

She wrote back trying to tell me she could see him the whole time. I call bullshit and told her NOTHING she could say would make this ok.  He told me that at one point he thought they forgot about him and he was going to find someone that worked there to call me to come get him.  I nearly cried when he told me that.

So now the boys can't hang out, and I'm the bad guy.

And I'm fine with that.

And to my darling husband, you were right. I'm sorry I did not take you seriously. 


  1. That sucks for your son on so many levels, but I totally understand why you'd want to be the bad guy in this situation. Mostly it's just sad it became a situation in the first place. *sigh*

    ~ Rhonda Parrish

  2. good for did and are doing the right thing, all around.